Our whole life is a quest of sorts, an endless search for the vision of who we are. The people we meet, especially the ones we love, add their unique flavor to the mix of who we become. When they pass, we carry the memory of those people in our hearts, like a Lakota shaman would carry his objects of power in a medicine bag.
Sometimes the memories give us the power of hard-earned experience. Other times they can bring the power of a smile at something that was said, an amusing bump against a wall of life that was shared. And in bad times, the glow of those memories can bring the power of warmth, a comfort in the drafty cold.
My wife’s brother died on Wednesday.
We fished together. We talked sports and investing and wives and kids and life in general, trying to make sense of it all. We hoisted far too many beers together… at weddings and funerals and open houses and other family functions.
He was one of the people whose memory I’ll always carry with me. One of the good ones.
Time will pass, and the smile will return when his memory pops into my mind. Our hearts are always changing.
Right now, his memory is heavy.
keiththegreen said:
My condolences to you and your family. May your memories of times shared bring warmth to your days.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thank you, Keith.
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Sirrom said:
So sorry to hear of your family’s loss. I am very close to my siblings (as well as my husband’s). I can hardly image a holiday without them. You are in my thoughts.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thank you. His loss will leave a hole in our lives.
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elroyjones said:
Tim, please accept my condolences. Goodbye is always hard. Wishing you and yours comfort in your shared love and memories.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
It’s been a tough one. Thanks for your concern.
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Britt Skrabanek said:
Gorgeously said, Tim. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Britt. We’re pushing on.
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La La said:
You and your family are in my thoughts. xoxo
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, La La.
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Stan R. Mitchell said:
Tim, I’m sorry for your loss, and I appreciate you sharing (and honoring) part of his life in this moving post.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Stan.
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letizia said:
My condolences, Tim. Thanks for sharing these beautiful memories with us.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks. It’s tough right now. It’ll get better. We’ll smile again.
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puiyinlab said:
Deepest condolences.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, PY.
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antoinettemsmut said:
I’m sorry to hear about your loss, and there’s no such thing as too many beers. My dad will crack one on my grandfather’s grave now and then (yes my family are rednecks, and yes I love them).
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T. W. Dittmer said:
We often tried our best to drink too many. 🙂 Thanks. Smiling already.
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Phillip McCollum said:
So sorry to hear about your loss Tim. I hope you and your wife can find comfort in each other during this tough time.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Everyone pulls together. Thanks.
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Maggie said:
Sorry to hear about your loss.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Maggie.
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Maddie Cochere said:
Tim, I’m so very sorry to read this tonight. Your words honoring your brother-in-law were moving. Please tell your wife we’ll be praying for her … praying for your entire family.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Maddie. I’ll tell her. She’s doing better and is already smiling at some of the memories.
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bodhisattvaintraining said:
Tim, I’m sorry I only just read this now…thinking of you and your wife, and extended family. I’m sitting in my long gone daddy’s rocking chair and was reading your post, thinking of him sitting in it before me..and then read about your wife’s brother. The missing is hard. x from Oz
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T. W. Dittmer said:
No apologies necessary, and thanks for the kind thoughts. We will do all the services over the next couple of days.
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bodhisattvaintraining said:
Having done all that recently I know it’s draining, surreal, necessary..and in the end, it was a beautiful time of reflection and honouring.
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MarciaSD said:
My condolences. Having someone dear to us take the lead on a journey we all will take is hard. May those memories always bring you joy!
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Marcia. It’s been tough on my wife, but she’s getting better, actually smiled at some of the pictures we dug out. He could be a character. 🙂
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swalia said:
Heartfelt condolences!
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks so much, Swalia.
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danniehill said:
Sounds like a man I would have liked to have known. He will live on in good memories– smiles will come.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Oh, he’ll live on Dannie. We won’t forget… and yes, we’re already smiling at some of the goofier things he and I pulled together.
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amaya ellman said:
Lovely post, reminding us all of the important things in life. My sympathies to you and your family.
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks so much, Amaya.
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Carol Carroll said:
Very sorry to hear you and your family lost a loved one. Sending my condolences too.
Carol
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T. W. Dittmer said:
Thanks, Carol. Much appreciated.
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Ron Herron said:
I remember when my brother-in-law Terry passed. It was far too soon and we miss him still…but your hearts will heal. Never completely, but they will. My condolences to you and your family.
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